


Malarkey

by hnwriter



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Banter, Friendship, Twin Peaks - Freeform, aka sassy nerds sass each other tbh, office jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 08:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11398926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hnwriter/pseuds/hnwriter
Summary: The Philadelphia Violent Crimes Division has a knack for sass.





	Malarkey

When Albert Rosenfield returned back to the office, Diane was making a fresh pot of coffee between transcribing tapes. She stopped him immediately in his steps and put her hand around his face.'

“Diane Evans, I absolutely have the exact opposite of additional time for whatever Godly malarkey you’re about to throw at me—“

“No Godly malarkey this morning, Albert. Just wanted to see exactly how hard that sheriff hit you.” He swatted her hand away and kept walking. A little more than a little amused with herself, Diane was left with her coffee and the quite satisfying image of a cross Albert Rosenfeld. Her small victory was cut short, as he swiftly turned back on his feet after crossing by her desk.

“There’s a bouquet of blue roses on your desk.”

“Of course there is, Albert. Now if you want some coffee, you’re going to have to wait, because this is for a meeting Gordon is in, and I—“

“What exactly do you hear on all those tapes, Diane?” A beat of silence. A second’s length of a cavern opened up between the secretary and the Agent as eyes met and mysteries built. All it took was a second.

“I hear everything, Albert.”

“Everything?”

“It’s not my job to see or to ask questions, Albert. Just hear what Cooper tells me and write it all down.” Perhaps the conversation could have kept going, but there were questions in Albert’s eyes that did not pass between the two of them. He turned again once more to leave.  
“Albert?”

“Diane, I told you I don’t have time for your nonsense, or Cooper’s nonsense, or—“ She tossed him the pack of cigarettes in her left hand drawer.

“Give yourself a minute, Albert. Consider it a present.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Have some lighthearted banter (and a little spookiness) between two of my favorite characters, circa original Peaks.


End file.
